Saturday, June 26, 2010

NAKU HA - July 2010

Katrina Halili will grace the PIDC Mabuhay Festival at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre on July 24, 2010.


SEXSOMNIA

...is making love in the middle of the night while both of you are half asleep is undoubtedly pleasurable. Great. This news depresses me. I can’t even get lucky while awake. Now, some people get lucky just by sleeping. There is no justice in the world.


YOU MIGHT GET LOST

When we travelled to the United States last year, I printed the directions of how to get from Chicago to Saginaw, Michigan. I remember that we were supposed to get off frominterstate highway I-69 to I-75N. But after the last rest stop, our GPS said to exit already on a higway. Even though we knew it was wrong, we followed it and we ended up on a rural highway. Highway 13, I think. It wasn’t so bad as it also goes to Saginaw, but it was not interstate Highway 75, which was faster. Then, near the end, there were detours that goes in circles. We decided to ask policemen who were guarding a street festival at that time. Next time, I will try to use the M.A.P, aside from the GPS.


THIS IS AUTOMATION?

The election automation is for the modern era but the canvassing is from the prehistoric age of the dinosaur. Not only is the canvassing manual, but also the posting on the board with a pen. Everytime, there is a new figure, they have to erase. Have they not heard of LCD, Plasma, LED monitors and Excel programs? Smatmatic called RP as a model of automation around the world because they said that the manual random audit as a feature of automated elections that is unique to the Philippines. “There is no audit in the United States, Brazil, India and other countries and they are automated so you are well ahead of the pack,” Smartmatic CEO Antonio Mugica said. Well, of course, they do not have that because they are already a mature society while in the Philippines, there are still people who insist on using paper for elections and counting it by hand.


NEW IMAGE FOR AN OLD PRODUCT

Minda asked me to write something nice about Katrina Halili besides her sex video news articles.I have no idea why avoid that issue when you already have people interested in that topic. That is the selling point. In short, create a diversionary tactic, like Premiere McGuinty. He is proposing selling off the liquor stores. We do not know if he means it or he just wants people to get their minds off the 13% Harmonized Sales Tax (HST) combined tax that became effective this month. But I’ll try. Here it is, “ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Katrina Halili, the last Filipino virgin.”

How’s that?


HOW TO INTRODUCE KATRINA HALILI

Ladies and gentlemen, here they are, Katrina Halili.


REASONS TO SEE KATRINA HALILI AT THE MABUHAY FESTIVAL

To steal a line form Hollywood producer Howard Hughes, I can think of two reasons why and they are enough for me. Let me re-phrase it. I can “see two good” reasons. If you can’t see them, you’re not looking hard enough. Or you are looking at the wrong...er...reasons., er...I mean...picture. For men, you need reasons?


WHAT WILL SHE DO?

I asked PIDC President Minda Neri what will Katrina do? I told her that all the guests like Mark Herras are dancers. She said they will also sing.


NATURAL LIGHT PHOTOGRAPHY IN A CONCERT

..is only good if you are printing the photos on a glossy, thick-coated artsy publication and will give the impression that it is artistic and avant-gard. But on a newsprint, they will appear as underexposed, noisy, grainy, out of focus and give the impression that it was taken by a 3-year old toddler. I have shots like that but I avoid using it in this newspaper.

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